Vera and Charles' Wedding

Tobit 8:5b-8 (NEB); Psalm 23; 1 Corinthians 13:1-13; John 15:9-12

As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love...I have said these things to you so that my joy may be complete in you, and that your joy may be complete.

We are here this afternoon because Vera and Charles have found abiding love. They have found joy, and here, in just a few moments, they will stand before God, their family, and their friends, and make their joy complete.

Love. Joy. Complete. Do any words better describe the smiles we’ve seen so often on their faces? They are the same words Jesus chooses to describe the kind of relationship we are able to have with him, the kind of relationship we are able to have with God. Love. Joy. Complete.

Love is a word we use so very often for so many different things. "I love you," we say to our beloved. "I love you," we say to our dearest friend. "I love you," more than one of us, I’m sure, has said to a chocolate dessert. When it can be used in these different ways, what does the word love really mean?

The Greek language of Jesus’ day used at least three different words for love. There was eros, desire, a sense of being drawn toward a thing or a person that we love. Eros was often associated with a very physical, intimate kind of attraction, which makes sense - we are, after all, human beings with skin and hair and eyes and hands....Eros - desire for the beloved.

There was also philia, mutuality, a sense of enjoying the company of the person we love and knowing that our company is enjoyed in return. It was often associated with a deep friendship, especially between persons who share something in common. Philia - friendship with the beloved.

Finally, there was agape, selfless love, a commitment to seek and do what is good, what is best, for the person that we love, no matter what the cost. Does it sound familiar? Agape is the word Jesus uses when he speaks of abiding in God’s love. Agape is the word Paul uses when he said that love is patient and kind. Agape is the word that is used when we read, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son...."

Christian writer and classics scholar C.S. Lewis had a different take than the ancient Greeks on love. He wrote, "We murder to dissect. In actual life, thank God, the elements of love mix and succeed one another, moment by moment." Even agape - selfless love - is flat and lifeless without the passion of eros, desire, and the intimacy of philia, friendship. God’s love for us is complete, made up of desire and friendship and selfless giving, and Vera and Charles’ marriage will be for us a mirror of that all-encompassing kind of love.

The word joy has not been spread quite as thin as the word love in common usage. It still retains a sense of sparkle, a sense of pureness - pure happiness, gladness. Surely this marriage will also be a mirror for us of the joy Jesus anticipates when we return our love, however imperfectly, for his perfect love. Jesus knows that we will sometimes fail him, that we will sometimes fail one another. And yet he uses the word joy to describe being in relationship. It is no accident, then, that we use the word joy to describe the marriage relationship, as we heard just a moment ago - The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy.

And last, the word complete. Here it means something like being full, even full to overflowing, of who we were made to be. We are made to be in relationship with God and with one another. Of course Vera and Charles are both whole people, with full lives and rich histories and their own tremendous gifts and strengths. And yet, in their marriage, they will become, in some sense, more complete, more full of who they were made to be. And their marriage will be a mirror for us of the way we, too, become more fully ourselves when we enter into a relationship with God, and with others through God.

Love. Joy. Becoming complete. We are here this afternoon because these words describe what Vera and Charles have. We are here this afternoon because these words describe what we can all have with God through Jesus Christ.

As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love....I have told you these things that my joy may be complete in you, and that your joy may be complete. Amen.